Spiders Everywhere

I sat at home last night trying to put the kids to bed. Henry was screaming in his crib and I was thinking “let him have it out.” As I was standing around the corner after just having turned out the lights I saw a HUGE black thing moving up the wall. I turned on a light and saw the biggest spider I have ever seen in my life. I am not exaggerating (for those of you who know how much I exaggerate.) It was about 4 inches in diameter. Black. Ugly. Scary. I swore heavily under my breath because Claire was sitting on the couch watching a movie. I swore under my breath not because I didn’t want her to hear me swear (her favorite is “goddammit”) but because I didn’t want to impart my immense fear of creepy crawlies on to her. So, I picked up my flip flop and with a deep breath – “whap” and killed it deader than shit.

I sat silent for awhile. Wondering when the spider from the Lord of the Rings was going to appear and wrap me up in a tight little bundle.

A few minutes later, my dad arrived. I had called earlier in the evening wanting him to bring up my computer and some wine. Thank God he came. As I explained in detail my spider slaying, he started to get curious. This wasn’t the first big spider. Two days ago he came up for a visit and there was an equally ugly one moving toward the kitchen – but this paled in comparison to tonight’s beast. He started to look around and realized that the house has “lots” of spiders. I brought him a can of Raid that I had and the adventure began. For the next hour my father walked around the house, inside and out, spraying corners and swatting spiders. I think he lost count at 25 kills. And, those were just the ones we saw.

The topper was when I came back into the house to find that Jackie – one of the puppies – had decided to come in (all the doors/windows were open) to take a huge crap and piss in the kid’s play tent.

Nice.

Tomorrow Flori and I will take Raid and a vacuum hose to every single nook and cranny that we can find. I don’t think I can handle sleeping here if we don’t.

And then we will meticulously disinfect the tent.

Here are pictures of a tiny little spider that I found when I first moved in. This should give you an idea of just how big last night's beast was.