Lost in Translation

For those of you who have tender eyes, you might not want to keep reading (profanity). . .

For the last year I have been calling my cab driver (I have the same one every day - we are on a contract) and saying to him in Spanish:

"Puede recoger me? Porfavor, toque su pito cuando viene!"

FINALLY someone corrected me and explained to me what I have been saying to him over the last year:

"Could you come and fuck me again? Please, when you get here, touch your dick."

Really. Why in the hell didn't anyone correct me sooner? How totally embarrassing. And all this time I was thinking how good my Spanish was getting. Hmmm.